I got my first anon-hate last week through ask.fm. Yay, I guess. I mean, I’m not necessarily happy that somebody I probably know hated-commented on something that I work very hard to keep alive, but as a best friend said (in quoting someone else): “You know you’re doing something right when you are pissing someone off”. For anyone out there curious, the hate comment was the following:
“Por qué tienes esa actitud tan pretenciosa y aparentas ser mejor que los demás cuando en realidad tu discurso e ideales son totalmente estúpidos y tus blogs son una basofia. Superalo, el tirar palabras juntas y quererlas hacer sonar bonito no te convierte en una escritora cuando tus ideas son malas”
Translated (and put a little more eloquently), this is what the person said:
“Why do you have that pretentious attitude and pretend to be better than the rest when in reality your discourse and ideals are totally stupid and your blogs are trash. Get over it, being able to string words together and want to make them sound pretty does not make you a writer when your ideas are bad”
Now I don’t know about you guys, but that is as hater as it gets. It’s not a comment, it’s not constructive criticism, it’s not even plain old criticism, it’s just full on hate. It’s an attack on me as a person, on my hobby (until I am making cents out of writing I’ll call it a hobby), and it’s an attack on my hard work.
Yes, writing is very hard work. Some people have more talent when stringing words together and some people have a more defined and attractive style, but everything takes time, practice and a lot of drafts. Every writer everywhere starts from somewhere they later look back on and blush in embarrassment of, but we all get better, and we all eventually reach a point where we achieve pride over our work.
Blogging takes equal amount of effort, because to keep a blog alive you have to practice creating content constantly. If you’re starting from zero the key to making a blog successful is always generating content and using your social media smarts. For content to gain attention you have to write things that resonate with people and current events, and what better things to write about wholeheartedly than things that you believe in and know wholeheartedly? But it’s always good to try new subjects and themes, definitely.
About this anon hate, though, how did I respond? With a GIF of Robert Downey Jr laughing during an interview. Honestly it was the first thing that popped into my head as a response. When I read the anon it kinda hit somewhere close to home, but after reading it around three times to make sure I didn’t read it too impulsively, it began to sound ridiculous. To this day the more I read it, the more ridiculous it sounds.
For starters its anonymity discredits any validity of opinion towards myself as a person, although it makes me wonder who wrote it because only through Facebook do I share my ask.fm responses. Clearly, this is someone who knows me, which makes its need to go anonymous instead of being honest and saying any opinion of me face to face, in a manner of speaking, cowardly of themselves. Instead of strengthening any impact their words might’ve had it only weakens them.
Secondly, their words on my blog were few, but this probably means they had to take time to read what I wrote in order to have any thoughts about it. If so, thanks for the views, if not, then why on earth would I take seriously someone who makes judgement on my hard work only by reading snippets, or worse the titles.
Thirdly and lastly they judged my ideas, and judged without explanation as to which ideas they were referring to (I happen write about lots) and why they are in any way against them. This is something I cannot in any way respect. It’s fine that we each have ideas that might not coincide with each other’s, we are in no way obliged to accept and swallow ideas opposite to our own. However, we are within our right to respect, and demand respect for them. How do we demand respect? By explaining ourselves and listening to each other. No hate, no judgement.
I wrote this blog post to just get these ideas out and share my thoughts on anon-hate. It’s always hard to not take them to heart, most of the time these people know where to punch, but we should always remember to value ourselves by ourselves. This isn’t being pretentious, this is being sure about your ideas, this is being confident about your abilities and this is being brave enough to share them.
There’s this line in Agent Carter, delivered flawlessly by Hayley Atwell, that goes: “I know my value. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t really matter.” I just love it. It’s a great mantra,but one that takes a lot of confidence to word out loud and to yourself, and confidence takes time and nourishment. Some of us are better at it, some of us aren’t. Plus putting yourself online makes this nourishment a delicate process, the world online is just full of unsolicited and unwanted hate that is in no way made to help you grow. So don’t ever let anon-hate, or any hate for that matter, bring you down. You know your value, and anyone else’s opinion doesn’t really matter.